I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
