Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
