Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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