the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
