Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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