I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
