Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
