He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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