I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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