So drunk its hurt
Apparently you make a good broom.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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