she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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