I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
