he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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