either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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