i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
