Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
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you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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