white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
