What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
