No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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