And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
