and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's always time for handjobs
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
