someone get that fucking seahorse.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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