we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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