Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
