Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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