On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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