Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
