she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
