she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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