well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
