Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
