Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
