He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My dick has a subreddit
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
