I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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