Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
