dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
