I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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