yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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