My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Are we still banned from the library?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
