I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
