You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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