well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
