i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
