There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need water and some morals
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
