Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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