I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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