he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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