He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
