I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
