btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
