And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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