Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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