why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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