wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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