So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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