Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
