so that wasnt chicken after all
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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