how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
