I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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