I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
