Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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