Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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