but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's never too late to be topless.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
